Kathy’s Story

Tribal Gaming and the lottery are relatively new to Oklahoma, but gambling addiction has been devastating lives for long before the first casinos opened their doors in Oklahoma. Below is one tragic story of how gambling has devastated one woman's life. Ms. Bassett is from Kansas, but her story is an example of how cruel gambling addiction can be.

Kathy Bassett has lost a brother to suicide, a child to prison and has a mother working in her 70's to repay gambling debts that caused her to file bankruptcy. Kathy has become a vocal opponent to gambling due to her tragic losses. The following are Kathy's words from a presentation she made July 25th, 2005:

Presentation to Voices of the Heartland

July 25^th, 2005

Wichita, Kansas

Hello, my name is Kathy Bassett. I am a resident of Topeka, Kansas, and a lifetime resident of Kansas. I am adamantly opposed to gambling, and would like to share my family’s story with you. I understand there are those that would like to open a casino in Park City, as well as transform Century II into a gambling establishment. This makes my heart heavy, but please let me explain.

Let me introduce you to a native Kansas family: my family.

My brother, David, and I were the two children of a Kansas farmer, raised on a farm outside of St. John, Kansas. We grew up riding horses and driving a wheat truck. Our father died in 1993 and is buried in the cemetery in St. John. Our mother is a nurse, now 73 years old, living in Topeka.

David and I were as close as a brother and sister could ever be. We absolutely loved each other, and I can honestly say each of us thought the other was just about the “coolest” person living. David attended college, receiving a total of 4 degrees, the final being his Masters of Social Work, and worked for nine years as a mental health counselor and eventually a supervisor, all in Topeka. He was married to an attorney.

I am a nurse, married to an Emergency physician, and have two sons, Jason, 29 years old, and Blake, 21 years old. Jason has three young sons, ages six, three, and one.

When Harrahs first opened their casino north of Topeka, my son Jason went to work for them dealing Blackjack, and eventually learned all of the games. He and his wife moved to Carson City, Nevada, where he worked for Harrahs in neighboring Lake Tahoe. He became a night shift pit boss supervisor. He also began to gamble.

My brother David began going to Harrahs and developed a gambling addiction. David and his wife attempted to control this addiction themselves. David began borrowing money from our mother, who had also started to gamble. Initially they all won significant amounts of money.

In May of 2003, the first bomb fell on our heads, when my son Jason was arrested for felony theft. He had been embezzling money at work to cover his own gambling debts, and had also been giving money to David and his grandmother to help cover their gambling losses, all of this unbeknownst to me. We started working through the long legal process of Jason’s defense, and trying to keep his young family intact.

In the fall of 2003, my elderly mother filed bankruptcy due to gambling debts, which necessitated her continued full time employment as a nurse to pay off this bankruptcy.

Jason’s marriage began to suffer, and he and his wife moved back to Kansas in fall of 2003 to be with family, while we all awaited Jason’s trial and sentencing.

Christmas Eve, 2003, our family were all able to be together at our home, including Jason with his children, and David. Because David and his wife were very private people, I and the rest of my family had no idea how desperately my brother was struggling to overcome his gambling addiction.

The weekend after Christmas, David took the drastic step of having himself voluntarily banned for life from Harrah’s, including having himself fingerprinted by Harrah’s personnel. It was a very traumatic event for him. The next day, while he was alone, David took the money he had been holding for our mother to keep her from gambling, and drove himself past Harrah’s to the Golden Eagle Casino. He gambled, and lost again. In a desperate state of mind, he drove back home, got his shotgun, and in his final act to protect his family and keep any of us from finding him, he drove the nearly four hours to St. John, the only place that he could find solace. On top of our father’s grave, he put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. He left a suicide note asking to be buried as close to our father as possible, and told his wife to find someone “free of addiction”. In his note he said he could not live with the “panic, shame, and despair” that his gambling caused. He was only 37 years old.

It breaks my heart to know what a tortured four-hour drive that must have been for David: the last hours of his life, alone, and in such deep despair. My brother loved life, and lived it to help others, and to enjoy the blessings we have been given.

David thought he would never be able to rid himself of his addiction, and was so profoundly disappointed in himself, he felt on that day that he could not face life as a gambling addict. The day my brother died is the only time I ever saw David hurt anyone, and I forgave him instantly. But the unrelenting pain of December 29^th, 2003 will be forever burned into my soul, as well as my family’s. I didn’t know a heart could survive that kind of hurt. My mother will never recover, my two sons miss him profoundly, and I can honestly say I look forward to the day that I hear “I love you, Kate”. Those were the final words I heard from David, at our home, on Christmas Eve.

David had spent 9 years as a Masters trained counselor, and part of his job was manning gambling and suicide hotlines. He was surrounded by a family of professionals: an attorney wife, a mother and sister that are nurses, a brother-in-law that is a physician, and two nephews and a host of friends that would have moved mountains for him.

Only a short five months later, on May 24^th, 2004, I stood behind my son, Jason, and heard him receive a sentence of four to ten years imprisonment in the state of Nevada. He received the maximum sentence on one felony count of theft, with NO prior record, for a nonviolent crime, reflecting the political clout of the gambling industry. In the months following Jason’s sentencing, his wife, brother-in-law, and friend were all sentenced in Nevada, on the same charge. Their combined gambling and embezzling has resulted in the incarceration of four young individuals.

I can honestly say I wish David were “just in prison for a few years”. At least Jason is alive, and will be coming home. He has the full support of what remains of his family. The last image I have of David is of him lying in the casket that we picked out in St. John, New Years Eve, 2003.

So, in the space of one years time, we endured the incarceration of my son, Jason, and the suicide of my brother, David. These happened as a direct result of their involvement with a nearby Kansas casino. To my knowledge, no one in my family had ever gambled until the casinos opened within easy driving distance of us. Presently, Kansas has a number of gambling facilities. If they are allowed to increase, devastating tragedies like these will increase exponentially. The benefits touted by the gambling industry are far outweighed by the financial and social consequences to Kansans despite what this industry would have us believe. Since our family’s tragedy, I have heard of many others on the brink of financial ruin from gambling. As recently as last week a decorated, experienced Topeka police officer, and friend of my husband has come under indictment for theft, on the job, as a result of his gambling addiction. He has publicly admitted that his compulsive gambling led to his crimes. This gentleman will never work as a police officer again and is likely facing prison time, and the consequences for his family.

The ramifications of Jason’s incarceration are tremendous, but I am happy to say that he is doing as well as can be expected, and will be home some day. By grit and determination, Jason is completing his degree during his incarceration. I am very proud of Jason. He is pulling himself out of the deep hole that he dug, and he is doing it with as much dignity and grace as his present living situation will allow. We all dig one hole or another in our lives, and then fall down into them. Jason’s felony conviction will always follow him, but he is determined to use his own mistakes as an open example to others.

If I may add one more thought here: before all of these events occurred in our lives, I had NO idea what a menace gambling is, nor how dangerous casinos really are. I thought if people wanted to gamble, it was their choice, and I hoped they enjoyed themselves. Personally I have been in a casino just a handful of times. Such ignorance came with an unimaginable price.

While I do not approve of what David and Jason have done, I understand the source of their mistakes. We were blessed to have David in our lives, and are blessed to still have Jason. It is too late now to help our precious David, but it isn’t too late to help other individuals, and families. No one should have to endure the heartache my family has endured. No one ever thinks they will experience tragedies like this. I certainly never thought so! My well-equipped brother could not break the choke-hold that gambling had on his life. Allowing an increase in gambling will only ensure that other families will have broken hearts as well.

I am not one to seek a public platform, but my family’s story needs to be told. I am here tonight as a mother and a sister, to ask of all of you to search your hearts and decide if it is worth the fight to prevent the building and opening of more casinos. I say YES! The definition of gambling is: “an activity involving risk”. And lets be open and honest here: risk taking is the correct phrase to describe this activity. Not gaming. Risk taking with your money, your freedom, and your life. “Gaming” is a ploy used by the gambling industry to make their casinos seem fun and friendly, and harmless. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Experience can be a cruel teacher. Bill Kearney is a previous problem gambler now residing in Pennsylvania, who gambled away his business and his family a number of years ago, and is now a staunch opponent to gambling. Bill makes the point that the casino industry has no interest in helping problem gamblers. In fact, this very affliction is nurtured by the industry, hence no clocks or windows, free flowing alcohol, free nights in the hotels, inexpensive meals, free transportation to the facility, sometimes even from local nursing homes, immediate access to ATM’s and very liberal check cashing on the premises. There are a number of actions existing casinos could take to drastically reduce the number of compulsive gamblers as well as the overall damage inflicted. However, problem gamblers comprise 20-30% of the gamblers who frequent casinos. Why would they want to eliminate this large and lucrative piece of their pie?

There have been many studies on the harmful effects of gambling, whether it be inside of a tribal casino, a state or privately owned casino, racetracks, electronic gambling devices, or on-line gambling. On-line gambling has become a widespread practice of many young people, esp. college-aged young adults. The gambling industry is well-versed in nurturing addiction. I won’t belabor this, except to say gambling results in an increase in criminal activity (such as theft/embezzlement), child and spousal abuse, severe financial strain, marital strain followed by divorce, loss of jobs, drug and alcohol abuse, and attempted and successful suicides. I would refer you to the National Gambling Impact Study for excellent information on the many aspects of gambling. Pay particular attention to Chapter 4: Problem and Pathological Gambling, and Chapter 7: Gambling’s Impacts on People and Places. A frightening point made in this study was that approximately one in five pathological gamblers attempts suicide. The council further notes that the suicide rate among pathological gamblers is higher than for any other addictive behavior.

The night my brother died, so horribly, saw me crying uncontrollably in the middle of the night, and down on my knees. That was the only time in my life that I literally begged God to let us go back in time 24 hours, just once.

Sadly that request was not granted to me, but it came straight from an inconsolable heart. The love I had for David was total and unconditional. When at times the pain has seemed too much, I have thought maybe it would have been better to not have a brother, in order to avoid this kind of loss. However, in truth, if I had my life to live over, it would have included every single day of those 37 years that he was with us.

Let me close by saying that we must all fight to keep gambling from expanding. I believe we should not tolerate so much as one more slot machine installed in this state. And we must teach our children that there is no “free lunch”.

We may have to dig down into our own wallets to help pay for counseling for pathological gamblers. Not all insurance companies and managed care providers reimburse treatment for pathological gambling, even though it is a recognized medical disorder. Even so, mere money is a small price to pay when the very lives of your loved ones are at stake. Topeka has counselors available who are trained specifically in gambling addiction. And there are highly effective support systems available at no cost, such as Gamblers Anonymous.

We must have compassion for those around us that are suffering and struggling with their gambling addiction. We must also rid our hearts of the stigma attached to the word “addiction”, so that pride and shame do not stop gamblers from getting the help they so desperately need. Two of the hallmarks of any addiction are secrecy and shame. People with gambling addictions need professional help. David’s pride is what prevented him from seeking qualified help, and it killed him, in the end.

As responsible adults, and family members, if we see someone close to us in trouble, or heading for trouble due to gambling, don’t be afraid to shout for help, from the rooftops if necessary. PLEASE don’t be afraid of embarrassing them, or even making them mad. Be tolerant of their anger toward you, and insist on that person getting help. It may even just be a “gut feeling”, but don’t ignore that feeling. Sometimes being responsible means interfering. None of you want to experience the heartbreak of seeing your loved one lying prematurely in a casket, or going to visit him or her in prison. My mom, my son and my brother became compulsive gamblers. Jason will serve his time, and return to us. David paid the ultimate price. Now, the best that I can do is to tell our story, and maybe it will help someone else’s son or brother.

Thank you for allowing me to speak here tonight. I hope you can all take this message home with you, and use it to help others, and your own community. I will be glad to answer any of your questions.

Copyright 2007