The Oklahoma Association for Gambling Addiction Awareness

“I love blackjack, but I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi circle”. Mitch Hedberg

Financial Protections

The suggestions made below are not necessarily the ones that will be given by mental health counselors or legal advisors. Most mental health counselors are attempting to address only the psychological aspects of the gambler’s addiction and while this is important, most tend to do this without adequately addressing the financial aspects of this addiction. Most legal advisors tend to take a “throw the bum out” approach and while this is tempting and has crossed the mind of most spouses of compulsive gamblers, it is not always the most beneficial initial approach, even if it is the final result of the gambler’s addiction. However, the following suggestions are things that need to be considered even before the gambler has come to the conclusion that they have a problem and are directed at protecting family finances until the gambler seeks treatment.

If you suspect that you have a family member that has a gambling problem, you need to act quickly. Gambling addicts can and do wipe out financial fortunes in just days. Do not think that you have time to talk some sense into someone who is gambling compulsively, they cannot and do not think of the consequences and the gambler will probably just view your concerns as inconsequential. Most often the gambler will only acknowledge their problem once someone outside of their family addresses it with him. Once the gambler starts chasing his losses, nothing but possibly running out of money, is going to slow him down. As long as the gambler has access to money, he will keep gambling.

Do not worry about whether he/she will be mad at you; you are fighting for your financial future. Of course, if your gambler has violent tendencies, caution should be taken, however if that is the case, maybe the gambling addiction is not the problem on which you should be focusing initially.

While most of the suggestions below seem to be directed at the spouse of a gambling addict, mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends and employers of pathological gamblers need to understand that they may have to take action to protect themselves from the gambler also. It may be very difficult to sit back and watch your child, grandchild, friend or sibling lose everything they have and know that the gambler’s children are going without things that YOU think they should have, but “softening the blow” of the financial consequences for the gambler is probably just prolonging the problem. Until the gambler comes to personally realize the devastation that his gambling has caused and take action to address his issue with gambling, he is likely to continue. The gambler will gamble as long as he has access to money and if you are bailing him and his family out, he may not see the need to address his issues with gambling. Assisting someone who is genuinely trying to help himself is much different than jumping in and “fixing” things for a person who continues to make bad decisions. It may be tempting to jump to the gambler’s defense and blame the gambler's problems on an unhappy marriage or bad job or any number of other excuses, but the reality is that the gambler is acting irresponsibly regardless of the circumstances and making excuses for his behavior is not beneficial for anyone involved. If you are concerned that the gambler’s children are being neglected, then certainly help those children by providing food and shelter for them or contacting child protection agencies, but taking over the financial duties of the gambler is like giving crack to the crack addict and wondering why they don’t quit using. Many parents have lost as much money as the gambler trying to save the gambler from the financial fallout of his gambling and the gambler did not stop gambling until the parents were completely without financial assets either. In the long term, the most loving thing that you can do may be to stand back and let the gambler reach his bottom without any interference from you.

However, if you suspect that a loved one, especially a spouse, is compulsively gambling you IMMEDIATELY need to consider the following:

Talk with your gambler as soon as you suspect he or she has a problem. Most gamblers know they have a problem; they are just not capable of stopping the behavior. Much of the devastation from gambling addiction could be minimized if the family takes seriously the first signs of a problem and addresses the issue as soon as gambling addiction is suspected.
Do not think that you can address the gambling issue on your own. Most gambler’s will initially tell you that they can handle it on their own. This rarely is the case. The majority of addicted gamblers are in denial about the extent of the problem. If they could have handled it on their own, they would have long before the problem got big enough for you to be considering any of these suggestions. As much as you may believe their sincerity, once the gambler has begun to gamble pathologically, he probably no longer has the ability to stop on his own. Gambling addiction is a real addiction and often has other problems such as depression or substance abuse problems associated with it. Most people need guidance. (See Find Help
Close all joint checking and savings accounts. Do not allow your paycheck to be automatically put in an account that the gambler can access.
Guard your children's savings and college fund accounts. Move them to another bank that the gambler cannot access.
Consider removing from your home collectible items, guns, jewelry, or anything else of special or sentimental value that the gambler may use to pawn.
Attempt to talk the gambler into directly depositing his paycheck into an account that he cannot access. Cash and access to cash are things that a compulsive gambler cannot deal with, especially at first. Over time some addicted gamblers can handle money, but for most they are looking at a lifetime of living on an allowance.
Hide all blank checks and credit cards someplace that the gambler cannot find them even if that means leaving them with a trusted family member or friend.
Do not keep large amounts of cash on your person or in your home.
Contact any family or friends that may loan your gambler money. Explain the reason you are contacting them and let them know that you will not be responsible for paying any money back to them that your family member may borrow.
Close any jointly owned credit cards to new charges. If the credit card company will not let you close the account, let them know verbally and in writing that you will not be responsible for any new charges. (This means that you cannot use these accounts either. Open an account in your name only if you must have a credit card.)
Do not pay any of the gambler's debt out of your accounts. The creditors can take this to mean that you are assuming the debt. If you must pay something, pay with a cashier's check from the bank or a money order.
Do not bail the gambler out financially. This is hard to do especially if you do not understand the consequences of gambling addiction. Bailing the gambler out just allows the gambler to continue gambling and prolongs the inevitable.
Do not rush into refinancing your mortgage or otherwise consolidating other debts to pay off gambling debt. Until the pathological gambler has his gambling under control, consolidating debt may just allow him more access to money on recently cleared credit cards or home equity lines of credit. Consult a financial planner or attorney who is knowledgeable regarding gambling addiction prior to refinancing or consolidating debt.
Notify all retirement, 401K managers, insurance and annuities agents that you do not authorize any removal of funds or loans against these accounts.
Close home equity lines of credit to new withdrawals or ask that both parties be required to sign for any future withdrawals.
If you have a family business, require that the bank change all accounts so that all checks or withdrawals from company accounts have two or more signatures.
Contact your family lawyer and accountant and explain the situation. Heed their advice. If they do not appear to understand the ravages of gambling addiction, find someone who does.
Carefully consider whether or not to let your gambler's employer know. This is a hard one, especially if the gambler has access to cash, but most likely the gambler will lose his job and this will further complicate the financial problems. If you know or suspect that your gambler is stealing from their employer to finance their gambling activities, contact an attorney immediately. It can be alleged that you knew about the theft and benefited from the proceeds of the illegal activity.
If the gambler has embezzled any money, he is responsible for paying taxes on that money. Consider your tax consequences. If you file a joint return with a gambler who has embezzled money you may be just as responsible for the taxes that are due as the gambler. Seek legal or financial advice.
Notify the credit reporting agencies that you do not want any new credit issued without your written permission.
Get yours and your spouse's credit report. You can get it online. You have to have your spouse's permission, but all you need is a social security number to get the information. There are probably credit cards or loans that you are not aware of.
Check your spouse's pay stub. Make sure that he has not decreased deductions for taxes, insurance, 401 Ks, etc. that he is supposed to be paying. The last thing you need to find out too late is that you owe taxes or that you do not have medical insurance.
Do not make any agreements to personally repay the gambler’s debt. If someone relies on your commitment in deciding a repayment plan, they can hold you personally responsible for the debt even if the gambler does not make an effort to repay.
Check to see if other insurance premiums such as car and life insurance premiums that the gambler has been supposed to make have been paid.
Make sure that payments for storage facilities have been paid.
Consider changing the titles on cars, RVs, boats etc. Checking credit reports may indicate whether loans have been taken out on these items. Check to see that these have not been refinanced.
If the casinos near you use ATM and Cash Advance Machines that allow self-exclusion consider adding your accounts to this self-ban list.
Ask the gambler if he will self-exclude from the casinos and if he is willing, do it before he changes his mind.
Notify the credit reporting agencies that you want to “opt out” of prescreened credit offers. optoutprescreen.com. This is often a source for gamblers to obtain new loans and credit cards. These offers may have your name on them and therefore you may be responsible for repaying the money, unless, of course, you are willing to turn your spouse or loved one in for fraud.
If the gambler is the legal or financial guardian for another person, the court should be notified to pay close attention to the spending from these accounts. Ideally, any one who gambles should be removed from these duties.
Document as closely as you can any paper trails of money that the gambler has spent gambling. i.e. ATM receipts, credit card cash advances, checks to casinos, withdrawals from retirement accounts, loans taken out etc. This information is helpful in a variety of ways. This information will help you to understand the extent of the financial difficulties that you are facing, allow you to document, in case you decide to divorce, the amount of marital assets the gambler has squandered, help to offset any tax consequences of any substantial winnings that the gambler may received and allow you to start to formulate a plan of action to address the debt that you have accumulated.
Seek mental health counseling or go to Gam-Anon or Gambler’s Anonymous. While it may be hard to find a counselor who specializes in gambling addiction near you, it is important that your counselor be knowledgeable about the unique consequences of gambling addiction. GA and Gam-Anon are good places to find others who are in similar situations who can help you understand the problems and how best to address them. There are also other support groups for gambling addiction that are not based on the GA model that may be beneficial.

The above are suggestions that may or may not be beneficial to you. Seek legal guidance regarding the ramifications of these suggestions, but move swiftly; time is not on your side.

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