"They are the new breed of slot machine-colorful, fancy, exciting, wonderful...and deadly." Frank Scoblete

Enabling the Gambling Addict

     The manner in which a spouse enables a gambler can be very different than with the enabling behavior seen with other addictions.  If the spouse is an alcoholic, one might encourage that behavior by continuing to have alcohol in the home or continuing to engage in social activities that require the alcoholic to be in situations where alcohol is readily available. However, with gambling addiction, the spouse may enable the gambler by simply being a responsible adult.

     The spouse can enable the gambler by bailing the gambler out, participating in gambling activities with the gambler, encouraging relationships with others who gamble or hiding the fact that the gambler is out of control from family, friends or the gambler’s employer, etc. The spouse also enables the gambler by assuming responsibility for paying bills or household expenses, making sure that the children’s needs are met, taking on a second job in order to keep current on financial responsibilities or dealing with creditors. 

     Unfortunately for the spouse of the gambling addict, the financial needs of the family have to be met even though the gambler is spending all of the money he makes, borrows or steals gambling. The spouse of a gambler may be stuck in that he or she may not see any option but to continue to be responsible to meet the financial obligations of the family, thereby allowing the gambler to continue to gamble.

     While substance abusers also may be financially irresponsible, the financial consequences are not usually a direct result of the addiction.  Substance abusers may cause financial problems due to missing work or as a result of incarceration for alcohol related offenses; the financial ramifications are an indirect result of the addiction. Alcoholics can engage in their addictive behaviors without having motor vehicle accidents or being arrested for alcohol related offenses, sexual addicts can engage in encounters with multiple sexual partners without the spouses knowledge, but the gambling addict cannot engage in his addictive behavior without causing financial problems. The spouse of an alcoholic can separate completely from the alcoholic’s behaviors; the spouse of a gambling addict, by the nature of the financial consequences, is deeply involved in the dealing with the fallout from the his addictive behavior even though the spouse may be unaware that the gambler is gambling.

Copyright 2007

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